Oh, Wookie.
Why did you have to leave me so soon? And why is every day getting harder rather than easier? I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Looking at your photos bring me heartache and just make me miss you more. It’s been 9 mos and 8 days, but it may as well have been yesterday. And I know so many have lost their dear fur babies so recently, so who am I to complain? But this just gets harder and harder. You would think I’d be better equipped to deal with this. But I am not. I wish you would come to me in my dreams, like Pony used to do, to let me know you are ok. You did come once, but it was so fleeting. When you were sick, and would sleep by my side of the bed, I used to wake up in the middle of the night and pet you for hours, so I could permanently engrain in my brain what your head felt like, the shape of it, the texture of your hair, all your curls. I loved all your curls.
I’m just rambling, I know that. And I wish I could be more helpful in the forums and offer more advice, but, well, I just don’t seem to be able to. I’m sorry for that.
I just want my boy back.
My 14yr old tripod Henry went to the rainbow bridge July 2013, at towards the end when he couldn’t walk…I carried him, when he could no longer eat/drink…I fed him…
it will take a long time for me, we had our routines, he slept by my side, my boy….
I just know how you feel.
Hugs,
Lori
Oh, Kelly. My heart is in my throat. There are tears in my eyes. I’m so sorry that this isn’t getting easier for you. I have no words of wisdom to offer, no magic pill that can make it better, I can only tell you that I can empathize with your pain and I wish I could take everyone’s pain away.
Have you considered speaking with a therapist or pursuing medical treatment for depression? I am NOT trying to tell you that a pill can cure your sadness or stop your missing Wookie. You will always miss Wookie, but I can tell you from experience that depression is a very dark place and it can feel impossible to crawl out of the hole on your own. I am absolutely not ashamed to admit that I ultimately pursued medical treatment and counseling for depression months following the death of a family member. Sometimes people need help, and that’s ok.
I hope that starting this blog helps you with the healing process.
With love, Heather
Kellie, as Heather said, maybe writing here to Wookie can help your heart heal. I write to Dakota in his blog. It helps me sort out my thoughts, and that is useful.
No time frame, no right or wrong, no agenda or plan or formula. The only way through this is through this. And you are going through it. There is another side. You may not be able to see it yet, but it’s there.
I wish you peace as you walk this path, and I hope you know in your heart that you absolutely help in the forums. You are such a valued member, and if you were not here, we would all be diminished. We need you. If we can provide support to you, let us. Helping to hold broken hearts together while they mend is something many of us here have a lot of experience with. And it’s true that burdens are lighter when you have more than one person carrying it.
Shari
Just so sad reading this. I know it’s hard to let go. It never stops hurting. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you to everyone for your kind words, they are very much appreciated.
I do have a therapist that I like very much, although I haven’t seen him in a few years. But I’m going to see him this Thursday. Maybe he’ll have some helpful suggestions.
I bought a beautiful wooden urn for Wookie online. I received it last week, but I can’t open it. I don’t want to put his ashes in it yet. It would be like admitting that he really is gone and is never coming back. So the box just sits by my bed. I guess some day I’ll open it.
My heart and soul feel fractured. I’ve mourned a thousand times more for Wookie than I did for either of my parents. I’m sure that makes me awful to some people, but that doesn’t matter much to me.
Anyway, I really just wanted to thank everyone for their replies. I have a hard time responding to these types of posts because I never know what to say, everything feels so inadequate. So thank you for taking the time and making the effort, it is appreciated. 🙂
Kelly, I just now saw this and am so wishing I could just give you a big hug. Just wait till we see you this winter in L.A.
Like others have said there is no timeline for when grief gets easier, you just have to live it on your own clock. And nobody will judge you or hold it against you for however long it takes. It sucks that the process can’t go as fast as anyone would like but it’s the only way our brains can handle the emotions and the loss.
Please believe me when I say you ARE helping here OK? Everyone helps in their own way, and even by starting this blog (thank you so much for becoming a supporter), you are helping others by sharing your story and Wookie’s beautiful life with everyone. Write to your heart’s content, it’s free therapy and it works. I want to learn all there is to know about Wookie, and I hope each new recollection helps put your heart back together.
In the meantime, we are here for YOU OK?
xoxo
Kelly,
I know how hard it is for you for Wookie. I wish I could say more. I know the blog helped me when I was going through the amputation and have continued it now that Sassy crossed the Bridge. Hoping it will help some. We all love your contributions on the forums & in the chat room. You are a big help to all of us.
Hugs
Michelle & Angel Sassy